9-12-17

Sometime I feel like I can't breathe. I want a child so badly but I am afraid I am broken. I fear what getting pregnant and losing a child would do to me. It would be a high risk pregnancy I know it. With Joe's age combined with my health problems, I can't imagine how losing our child would destroy me. But I want a child badly. I mean I know it's not in the cards right now because of our money issues but I feel like a piece is missing. I have been reading stories and watching movies lately that all seem to feature babies and it causes more damage than it should. Because for all I know I am perfectly capable of having children I just haven't. I'm afraid that by the time we are able to financially Joe will have changed his mind.