11-20-13

To quote Jude Harrison, I'm so tired of falling for guys who don't fall back, it hurts. I wish I could have someone who liked me and I liked them back and I didn't chase them away but being a psycho. Jake, Joe, and Leo. One liked me back but I chased him away by being a psycho and the other 2 didn't even like me back but I'm sure I chased both of them away by being a psycho anyways. It's very depressing.

10-19-13

I'm managing to maybe kind of back off a little bit. I don't think I'm being as suffocating as I was. But it still worries me. In other news I think I'm starting to get the hang of this budgeting thing.

10-9-13

I've becoming to reliant on talking things out with Jake. When he's not around and I'm falling to pieces I don't know what to do anymore. These things happen more than they should. I shouldn't let myself get so wrapped up in someone else.

10-2-13

I'm still having trouble getting out of my own head. I'm having difficulty dealing with my grandma lately. I just want to get away really. I'm so tired. This weekend will be a nice time for me. I won't be getting away but everyone else will be gone so it'll almost be like getting away because I'll have the whole house to myself. It'll be really really nice.

Now I want to talk about Jake. I think I did it again. I think I scared a possible friend off by being a psycho. I get to talk to the counselor tomorrow and we'll see how I am feeling after that.

9-29-13

Me and Emmalee went to the Pregnancy crisis center benefit dinner last night. That was a load of fun. I texted Jake and apologized for the other day when I was talking to him about self hatred. I said that I felt like I was really judgmental and I was sorry. He said it was okay. That he's had plenty of advice and that he can't be helped. I just said that I didn't believe that but we could agree to disagree. He didn't reply.

9-27-13

Well Emmalee had to cancel dinner tonight so that was a bummer. So anyways, I'm just going to spend the night being bored. I am hoping to talk to Jake again.

9-27-13

I'm feeling pretty good. I am having dinner with Emmalee tonight. That's pretty cool. Let's see what else...oh I told Jake I was in love with him when I moved away. That was fun. We haven't really talked since then but we'll just have to see what happens. I want to drive up to Washington and visit him. But at this point I have no money to stay in a hotel. Maybe that's what I'll do next summer. Hopefully by then I'll be in a little bit of a better financial state.